I am sitting propped up with loads of pillows in my parents sun room. It's 8:30 in the evening, and I'm ready for bed. Surrounded by pink and blue curtains in a fort-like nature, the lock to my little bedroom door is a wooden clothes pin.
The past few days I have been rediscovering Circleville, Ohio; my friends, family and the culture of this little town. The last time I lived here, things were a lot different in my life. I am not the same girl I was several years ago.
Adjusting to a new sleep schedule, living at my parents house in a make shift room, and trying to land a vision/plan for the next few months. It really is kinda like a mission trip. It's like when you are all warm and cozy in your bed and the first steps of getting out of bed onto the cold floor.... I have a cup of South African red bush tea, and it's raining outside at the end of December..
The smell of my tea reminds me of the cold rainy days at a old wine estate in South Africa. We were near Capetown if I remember correctly. I was with a team of 13 other people from several parts of the world, all gathered together to combat human trafficking surrounding the World Cup 2010. ... I will never forget those 5weeks of my life.
The rain on the roof reminds me of Papua New Guinea. I grew up there and our roofs were all metal so you could hear every drop. I loved it.... The rain is a bit more muffled on our roofs here in the States...
My brother was talking about how I could buy meat pies from Australia online or cordial. Reminds me of when we visited Cairns for a little vacation as a kid.
I saw a guy that I went to Bible college with at Kroger yesterday. .. Being in a Kroger again, reminds me of the times I was in college.. Being in this little town again reminds me of a lot of things in my past.
Some good memories, and a lot of them sad. He has taken my pain and called me by a new name, He's taken my shame, and in it's place He gives me joy...
I don't know how this whole trip is going to go. It's only day 2 really, so I have a little bit to figure it out. I don't want to waste time though! Father, what are You thinking and feeling about this trip? Why am I here? Colossians 1:9-11, Fill me with the knowlege of Your will... I need God's help. There's something bigger going on, something greater than me...
So, I am going to look at this support trip as a mission trip. I have been to the other side of the world, and several places in between... Ohio is going to be an assignment that I will remember. Surprises are ahead, so I'm told.. A new car may be one of them?? :) God help me, I want to be faithful, and to do what is right in Your eyes. I need You to guide and direct me. Strenthen me to fulfill the plans in Your heart for me...
Queen
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Thursday, December 8, 2011
New Beginnings
There isn't anything sweeter than a solo devo, full sounding acoustic guitar and a worshipper singing their heart out to the Lord.
The Lord inhabits the praises of His people. I love the place where he dwells. For all of my days, I want to give myself to this place of knowing, beholding and blessing God.
There is no greater thing. Somewhere after sunset and before it's rising, I come into this house to sing praises to the Father, Spirit and Son. Under the moon light, and the stars that shine, sometimes I forget why I'm here.
I remember, it's He who brought me, and I know it's only because I've been touched deeply by His love that I keep running into His presence, again and again. Like a flower, I have truly been unfolding beneath the gentle love, and rich grace of His heart. I've been showered by mercy, kindness and extravagant love.
I am poor and needy, dry and thirsty, weary in a weary land. Truly, my God has lavished upon me, and now in beauty I stand. Winds and waves roll all around me. Mountains tower, and the road is shadowed; I lean into my Beloved, hand in hand we walk on.
Testings, trials, surprises and joy; I put my hope and trust in the one I'm leaning on. My heart longs aches. My heart sings, sighs, wanting to fly. Life is meant to be shared, harmony requires melody. We were all made for love. To love and to be loved.
I am seen by God, like a blossoming tree amongst a forest of green. I am noticed, I have caught His eye. I can have confidence in this. That I am seen, known and desired. When I waver, I recall to my mind that beautiful tree with white petals, sweet fragrance in the midst of a wood of green. I do stand out to the Father of Glory. Why would I fear being overlooked by men of the earth? God sees and that is more than enough.
Leaving will be hard, recieving isn't easy. Being weak forces me to face hidden pride. Letting go of people and things I love; Trusting the One above. I have seen real beauty in hearts and faces during these Moonlit watches. Blessed be the name of the Lord, He gives and takes away, blessed be His name. He sought me, brought me here and now I will return. I'm not the same broken flower that I was 4 years ago. My time isn't up, I know, but what's ahead, I'm not too sure.
A bit of sadness rests just beneathe the surface of my little heart. A fragile smile dares to show, I do have a great Hope, and future. Confessions to fear of failure, with bended knee I bow before my Maker.
Here's my heart, dreams, desires, people I love, I lay them all at Your feet. My little heart is fragile, yet strong. I will press on. I will do this. Doubts fly at me: "I don't know if I can do this", "what if I can't?", "will anyone say yes?", "who do I ask?".... I am a missionary. There is no turning back. Ruined for anything less. Destined to this narrow road, I will go. I will go. Here I am, Lord, have Your gold in me. Have all of Your heart's desire in me. Whatever it takes, I yield to You and sincerely pray. "Father, embrace me".
~Queen
The Lord inhabits the praises of His people. I love the place where he dwells. For all of my days, I want to give myself to this place of knowing, beholding and blessing God.
There is no greater thing. Somewhere after sunset and before it's rising, I come into this house to sing praises to the Father, Spirit and Son. Under the moon light, and the stars that shine, sometimes I forget why I'm here.
I remember, it's He who brought me, and I know it's only because I've been touched deeply by His love that I keep running into His presence, again and again. Like a flower, I have truly been unfolding beneath the gentle love, and rich grace of His heart. I've been showered by mercy, kindness and extravagant love.
I am poor and needy, dry and thirsty, weary in a weary land. Truly, my God has lavished upon me, and now in beauty I stand. Winds and waves roll all around me. Mountains tower, and the road is shadowed; I lean into my Beloved, hand in hand we walk on.
Testings, trials, surprises and joy; I put my hope and trust in the one I'm leaning on. My heart longs aches. My heart sings, sighs, wanting to fly. Life is meant to be shared, harmony requires melody. We were all made for love. To love and to be loved.
I am seen by God, like a blossoming tree amongst a forest of green. I am noticed, I have caught His eye. I can have confidence in this. That I am seen, known and desired. When I waver, I recall to my mind that beautiful tree with white petals, sweet fragrance in the midst of a wood of green. I do stand out to the Father of Glory. Why would I fear being overlooked by men of the earth? God sees and that is more than enough.
Leaving will be hard, recieving isn't easy. Being weak forces me to face hidden pride. Letting go of people and things I love; Trusting the One above. I have seen real beauty in hearts and faces during these Moonlit watches. Blessed be the name of the Lord, He gives and takes away, blessed be His name. He sought me, brought me here and now I will return. I'm not the same broken flower that I was 4 years ago. My time isn't up, I know, but what's ahead, I'm not too sure.
A bit of sadness rests just beneathe the surface of my little heart. A fragile smile dares to show, I do have a great Hope, and future. Confessions to fear of failure, with bended knee I bow before my Maker.
Here's my heart, dreams, desires, people I love, I lay them all at Your feet. My little heart is fragile, yet strong. I will press on. I will do this. Doubts fly at me: "I don't know if I can do this", "what if I can't?", "will anyone say yes?", "who do I ask?".... I am a missionary. There is no turning back. Ruined for anything less. Destined to this narrow road, I will go. I will go. Here I am, Lord, have Your gold in me. Have all of Your heart's desire in me. Whatever it takes, I yield to You and sincerely pray. "Father, embrace me".
~Queen
Saturday, September 17, 2011
All Kinds of Changes...
It's been 2 months now, since returning to Kansas City. The month spent in Poland and Ukraine was unlike any other trip I've been on.
We mostly encouraged the body of believers and secular organizations caring for trafficked women.
I will follow up with a more comprehensive update about Europe in the near future. After returning to the NIGHT WATCHES of the prayer room in August, we were all informed of a little switch-er-roo... We now are going to bed 2 or 3pm ish and waking up around 10:30-11pm. So we start our day at Midnight in the prayer room instead of end our day in the prayer room.
I have been on the new schedule a little over a week now. It will be great, once I get several things landed and have a set bedtime! Sleep is a bit tricky right now...
Something else new, I am on Chris Tofilon's worship team now! I love it. We as a team, are serving and getting to know each other. I really enjoy ministering together and then gathering off the stage for quality time :)
BTW- On the team, I run the screens and put up the words for the worship.
Also, I am in the midst of trying out a worship team as a singer at our Inner City Prayer Room. If they let me stay on, I think it will be a huge tool to help me grow in boldness and skill as a singer.
Yet another change: I switched to lunches as a server at Longhorn Steakhouse. While I labor to raise a partnership team as a missionary, I work part-time at a restaurant. .. I try to think of it as an outreach/ministry opportunity instead of a paycheck :):) ..
Well, I have the opportunity to hit the pillow early today, so I'm going to sign off. More later...
Blessings,
Steph Queen
We mostly encouraged the body of believers and secular organizations caring for trafficked women.
I will follow up with a more comprehensive update about Europe in the near future. After returning to the NIGHT WATCHES of the prayer room in August, we were all informed of a little switch-er-roo... We now are going to bed 2 or 3pm ish and waking up around 10:30-11pm. So we start our day at Midnight in the prayer room instead of end our day in the prayer room.
I have been on the new schedule a little over a week now. It will be great, once I get several things landed and have a set bedtime! Sleep is a bit tricky right now...
Something else new, I am on Chris Tofilon's worship team now! I love it. We as a team, are serving and getting to know each other. I really enjoy ministering together and then gathering off the stage for quality time :)
BTW- On the team, I run the screens and put up the words for the worship.
Also, I am in the midst of trying out a worship team as a singer at our Inner City Prayer Room. If they let me stay on, I think it will be a huge tool to help me grow in boldness and skill as a singer.
Yet another change: I switched to lunches as a server at Longhorn Steakhouse. While I labor to raise a partnership team as a missionary, I work part-time at a restaurant. .. I try to think of it as an outreach/ministry opportunity instead of a paycheck :):) ..
Well, I have the opportunity to hit the pillow early today, so I'm going to sign off. More later...
Blessings,
Steph Queen
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Poland
I arrived in Poland about 2 weeks ago. Spent a week with children from Israel, met with several anti-human trafficking organizations, and visited Auschwitz. Wow. I am being struck with the reality of what it means to care for women rescued from the sex trade. No glamour, but very much an honor. Met with people on the "front lines" who have given blood, sweat and tears. Some of them don't even know the Lord, and yet they have been loving these girls for years, often without thanks.
Just asking God what things will look like for me in the future as I pursue the same kind of ministry.... Colossians 1:9-11 is what I'm praying these past few weeks. Inquiring of the Lord what He is thinking, feeling... What is His vision and plan for me? shaalom
Steph
Just asking God what things will look like for me in the future as I pursue the same kind of ministry.... Colossians 1:9-11 is what I'm praying these past few weeks. Inquiring of the Lord what He is thinking, feeling... What is His vision and plan for me? shaalom
Steph
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Where He leads I will follow
No matter where I go, I can't get away from whatever lesson God has me learning. I can't put things on hold for when I get back, or work ahead to complete the "lesson" early.
Another thing I have seen in my lifetime of traveling is this: It doesn't matter what country I'm in, or who I'm with, what I'm doing etc... Life is still life, people and relationships are still challenging, the sky is still blue, and there is always something good to eat. Things look, sound and taste slightly different (sometimes drastically ;) but at the core, we have a lot in common in this world.
The reason I love foreign missions is because I get to see and know another side of God's heart and nature. I love the differences and diversity in the Nations. There are so many colors, and expressions of God in this world. When I am given the opportunity to travel, it enlarges my picture of who God is and what He's like. I love the language similarities and differences. I love the shades of skin and the unique touches of each nation.
Now that I said all that, I also can say I've learned (as a missionary kid up to now...) Missionary life isn't glamorous no matter where you go. Mundane times come, groceries still need bought, bills still need paid, sleep comes and goes etc... etc...
The ending of human trafficking sounds heroic as well, however, it really comes down to days like today. ... Praying in a park, admitting my dependence on God to come through, and continuing to be available to Jesus for whatever He would have me do. ... One prayer and one regular day at a time... Today I'm in Poland....
Another thing I have seen in my lifetime of traveling is this: It doesn't matter what country I'm in, or who I'm with, what I'm doing etc... Life is still life, people and relationships are still challenging, the sky is still blue, and there is always something good to eat. Things look, sound and taste slightly different (sometimes drastically ;) but at the core, we have a lot in common in this world.
The reason I love foreign missions is because I get to see and know another side of God's heart and nature. I love the differences and diversity in the Nations. There are so many colors, and expressions of God in this world. When I am given the opportunity to travel, it enlarges my picture of who God is and what He's like. I love the language similarities and differences. I love the shades of skin and the unique touches of each nation.
Now that I said all that, I also can say I've learned (as a missionary kid up to now...) Missionary life isn't glamorous no matter where you go. Mundane times come, groceries still need bought, bills still need paid, sleep comes and goes etc... etc...
The ending of human trafficking sounds heroic as well, however, it really comes down to days like today. ... Praying in a park, admitting my dependence on God to come through, and continuing to be available to Jesus for whatever He would have me do. ... One prayer and one regular day at a time... Today I'm in Poland....
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