cold feet... wet head...

So i don't know if anyone actually reads this, but here you go. Grew up in Christian home, heard of Jesus in the womb, and in church from day one. Born on the mission field, quiet, and never really got in trouble. My parents and brothers were the ones that i got in trouble with. To the outside church world, which was the only world i knew, Stephanie Q. was the quiet, goody 2 shoes, sweeter than sweet, had it all together with God, christian missionary kid. I never asked questions, i was afraid they would be dumb because i felt like i should already know everything. Asked Jesus into my heart in the kitchen of a house rented by missionary dpt. right beside the old Mount of Praise camp grounds in Circleville, Ohio when i was 5 years old. Matter-O-fact and to the point, prayed a simple prayer with my mom. then walked out the door and played in the yard. God has gotten a lot more complex and alot more simple since then. not that he has changed, it is the good little girl coming to a realization that i am not good at all on my own. i sooooo need God's grace and love to create anything pure in my heart. That said, i was never approached about being baptized and it was one of those questions i never asked. long story short, now 27 years old still dealing with an mk complex... enough is enough.. so when i heard of the opportunity to get baptized here at ihop, i said to myself/God.., i'll do it another time.. God kindly elbowed me and whispered, "haven't you said that before?" so after saying no to one girl beside me when they offered to go with me to sign up, i asked someone else beside me a few min later and we went together to sign me up!! so this sunday i took the plunge, with friends beside me and an audience that cheered up a storm! God is so patient with me.. i feel relieved and free just because i was obedient even if i don't fully understand so much that there is to understand about God. i will work on getting some pictures for you all to see my wet smiley face. :)_
Face your fears, the truth will set you free. Perfect love drives out all fear, and a man that fears has not yet been perfected in love. (working on that myself) (reference comes from 1 John)
Steph Q

God is funny...he knows how to make me laugh and still make a serious point

So have you ever come to the point of finally letting go of something, given it to God and stopped trying to figure it out? Then have you just opened yourself up to ask him to help you understand and gone about buisness as usual? THEN.. a few minutes later when you are innocently minding my own and WHAM#!%*. Then your like, what in the world!! and NO WAY. Then you ask someone else and they confirm the WHAM#!%* and you're like, yeah ok God that isn't funny. Then you laugh for the rest of the day. .... so yeah, God does have a sense of humor, and I love that..
Steph

Soakin' it all in.....

I really am speechless, so this will be short. ... The more i hear, the more i read,.... .. the more i grow silent.. words seem to ruin and disrupt. so i am just trying to soak in God and his word.... i am leaning back and letting go slowly, beginning to try to just rest.... so... let my words be few.... ......... ..... soak it up.. :)
Steph Q.

nerves are evil....

Yeah, so today, decided to tryout for a worship team today. Scary, last week i chickened out and this time i plain choked. Misty Edwards among several other awesome artists, most with their own cds', were their to "judge". Misty has loads of albums herself. So even though i didn't really have time to compare myself with all these really talented, humble artists, i still had a paralyizing fear that totally froze my vocal chords in place and all that came out was some sort of whisper that i couldn't hear myself. :) All that drama for 45 seconds. Rediculess!! One day, i better get over it.. Kinda funny, kinda not so much..... so i am all about learning to be humble, but not doing that again for a while. Getting used to the Nights. Kinda wondering how to keep up a similar schedule when i get home. My head is spinning with all sorts of things. All i can say is you gotta be here to understand. "Good stuff" doesn't really cut it. Neither does any other word. God is so good. We have no clue how much so. None what-so-ever....

Love ya my friends,
Queen of the night :)

Free time is hard....

So, you would think that being off work, not taking care of my house, not running around with my head cut off, not dealing with normal mundane life, would be easy. I may just be weird and twisted, but i miss the normal blah's. However, i realize things i need to change when i go back home. like, i need to sit still more. I need to write, and sing and read more. I guess i have neglected taking care of and getting use out of the things that make me happy, and express / release what's in my heart. Been too focused on "responsibility". So, this is a good test of learning to rest, to work my creative muscles, and to simply trust and lean to simply enjoy God. Dream big, live with purpose,
~Queen

The Night Life

Words really aren't able to describe a place like this. My body has been confused as to what day it is, and what time. My brain has been stretched and rudely awakened to the fact I haven't been using it much. My heart is realizing how much it needs to grow, expand and give. My soul, that is the best part, my soul is loved by God. My soul, life and everything about me, brings joy to the Creator. Try to get a hold of that thought and it will take you far :) Keep focus,
~Stephanie~