feeling a little like a freshly squeezed orange...

I am not resistant, though i definitely feel a little uncomfortable. Probably like how an orange would feel mid-squeeze when someone is trying to make fresh oj. Ever been in a plane and your ears get all that pressure built up and gotta say not all that pleasant, but when they finally pop.. you can hear again. ... So yes, I am feeling the pinch, a draft, a little on the edge.
I am at a place where the foundation beneath me is under construction, bunch of demolition being shuffled about. My support has been swept away, my walls are knocked out and a skeleton frame work is what stands. My only support beam to lean on is God. No where to run to or anyone to depend on in this moment but Him. Just waiting on the cement to harden, dry. I am in a good place, and when supply and provision come, there will be no way it was from what I have done. All the props will go to God for sure. To him be the glory in my life. After the squeeze comes relief that satisfies thirst.
Steph Queen

Prayer and Praise

I am so blessed. I can't even tell you! Nothing too out of the ordinary, just the little things that are so often overlooked my me. God is showing me how lovely my family is and deepening my love for them. Just coming to the realization of all the small yet very significant ways He has provided for me.
A few things I ask that you would pray for are the following:

*For my friend's mom, Debbie S.- for healing and recovery from surgery

*For my uncle D.U. - for healing from croans disease and for salvation

*For my neighbor George C. - inner healing, that God would heal her ears, and for salvation

*For my financial support to come in for track 2 of FITN and for a lap-top :)

Thank you and God bless,
-Stephanie Q

old aquaintance, new friend

Growing up in a missionary family, i have met a lot of people. With moving around so much i didn't get close to very many of them though. I have had more than one Bible my whole life. I have been aquainted with it, but have come to realize my relationship with the words on those pages isn't as deep as i thought.
Back home i hardly ever took my Bible with me to church. I just read from the pew Bible or off the screen on the wall. A couple nights ago my apartment made Christmas cookies for a nursing home nearby and i helped look up verses to attach to the cookie packages. Well, we left for the prayer room and once i got there found that i left my Bible on the coffee table. Normally that wouldn't bother me too much. For one, there is nothing normal about ihop. Second, when you spend a minimal of 6 anywhere to 12 hours a day with someone, you get attached. So, i found that i actually have developed some sort of bond with the Word of God at my finger tips. I was kinda lost. I sang and prayed and looked through notes, but still felt like i left a friend behind:)
I have always searched for a friendship that would be strong and outlast any move i made, or be there for anything when i needed it. All along ignoring the best friend a girl (or guy) could have.
My encouragement to you, .... become dependant, love sick and driven to run with God. Whatever you do, don't become comfortable and satisfied with being "aquainted".
Keep pursuing Him,
Steph Queen

Experience will always trump knowledge

"Praise the Lord, all you servants of the Lord who minister by night in the house of the Lord. Lift up your hands in the sanctuary and praise the Lord. May the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth, bless you from Zion." ~ Psalm 134~

"You have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride; you have stolen my heart with one glance of your eyes, with one jewel of your necklace." ~Song of Songs 4:9~

"Place me me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyeilding as the grave. It burns like a mighty flame. Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away. If one were give all the wealth of his house for love, it would be utterly scorned." ~Song of Songs 8:6-7~

~ Give him your darkest hours, look him in the eye, put your frozen heart in the flame of God's love. ~ Queen

Trying to keep it simple when in over my head

Feeling like i've been put in a pressure cooker with no release valve. So much is being dug up and brought to the surface, like my heart, mind and soul are a big stretch of highway under construction. Speed limit reduced but have the urge to speed through to get to the end, or conclusion of understanding. Road is narrowed and bumpy and curving unexpectantly. See people speed ahead of me and want to catch up and then got someone on my tail saying I'm taking too long and being too careful. In a hurry to get somewhere, and got all kinds of detours, stop signs, red and yellow lights and slow moving vehicles in my path. .... Hi. just feeling a little overwhelmed, that's all. Nothing to do with anything but me and my needing to grow. Becoming more of who God wants me to be is a process for sure. Not a smooth, easy ride sometimes :) God disciplines the ones he loves like a father does for his children. I am loved, .... :) If you are discouraged in your pursuit of the infinite wealth of knowledge, revelation, understanding, application, coal touching your lips, seal imprinting your heart with the stamp of God's ownership of your soul, be encouraged. God is love. Love is your inheritance. Count the cost... to what extent is the price too much in order to recieve the fullness of God's love in your life? ... He gave it all for us. ...Remember ..the cross. My heart's desire is to be unreservedly abandoned and emptied of myself.. at all cost. Only through his grace. God is so amazing.
Blessings,
Stephanie Q.