Monday, February 20, 2012
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Revive Me
I'm here. And if I lived here, I'd live differently than before.
Rediscovering relationships of years ago. Rediscovering I don't belong here like I did then.
I'm different. And If I weren't there would be something wrong with me.
Discovering how I have been molded and shaped into the girl I am today.
Where you live, where you work, and what you listen to really does something on the inside.
How is it that I'm not the girl dressed in rags holding up a cardboard sign?
What has kept me from drinking my life away in a bottle or wasting away with a needle?
Who?, Is the question...
How is it that I have a car that's paid off, a house that is still in my name and parents that are still married?
What kept me from driving off the road multiple times, or Why do I still own a house?
Who is it that has kept my ma and dad in love to this day?
So, I remember when someone asked me as a kid: "you going to grow up and be a missionary like your mom and dad??" I didn't like that question and my first response was "no way!"
Well, here I am.
I'm sitting at Tim Hortons in Circleville, Ohio. The view is Walmart, Bob Evans and route 23 straight ahead of me.
I will look back and see all that God was doing in me and be thankful.
He has always been right, He has always done well with my heart. He has never ever let me down. So, I'm here, I'm available, and I'm weak. Really weak. Papa, help me be obedient to you today, I want to succeed.
I surrender all of me...
Queen
Rediscovering relationships of years ago. Rediscovering I don't belong here like I did then.
I'm different. And If I weren't there would be something wrong with me.
Discovering how I have been molded and shaped into the girl I am today.
Where you live, where you work, and what you listen to really does something on the inside.
How is it that I'm not the girl dressed in rags holding up a cardboard sign?
What has kept me from drinking my life away in a bottle or wasting away with a needle?
Who?, Is the question...
How is it that I have a car that's paid off, a house that is still in my name and parents that are still married?
What kept me from driving off the road multiple times, or Why do I still own a house?
Who is it that has kept my ma and dad in love to this day?
So, I remember when someone asked me as a kid: "you going to grow up and be a missionary like your mom and dad??" I didn't like that question and my first response was "no way!"
Well, here I am.
I'm sitting at Tim Hortons in Circleville, Ohio. The view is Walmart, Bob Evans and route 23 straight ahead of me.
I will look back and see all that God was doing in me and be thankful.
He has always been right, He has always done well with my heart. He has never ever let me down. So, I'm here, I'm available, and I'm weak. Really weak. Papa, help me be obedient to you today, I want to succeed.
I surrender all of me...
Queen
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Saturday, January 21, 2012
I miss the prayer room. It used to be that I couldn't sit still for 2 hours of church. Now I feel rushed if Church is over in less than 2 hrs, and it drives me stir crazy to sit and watch tv. I usually pace anyway in the prayer room, I like to be up and about. However, pacing to the sound of the tv doesn't exactly seem appropriate.
I really do ache for long hours in worship, even if it is hard. I miss singing and hearing live worship. I miss my friends and my roomie with her little cats and dog. I miss good old Grandview, Missouri in all of it's ... well, the reason I love Grandview is because it's where I met Jesus and knew His love in the most real sense of the word in my whole life.
Never have I known such love than in the community of 24/7 worship and prayer. I still ask the Lord to teach me how to pray, how to worship, and I still struggle to stay awake sometimes in the prayer room. I have a hard time sitting still or being focused on the Lord, even in that beautiful, simple room at IHOP KC. ...
There really is no place I'd rather be. Sigh... God, I don't know how to get back there, how to find my way as a missionary. With all my heart I want to serve as a missionary to the ends of the earth, or in the Night Watch pacing and singing to You. But how do I get there? How do I live this life? What more do I need to do in order to be sustained?
Am I succeeding or am I falling short? Help Lord, for I am really weak at this. I'm in need of Your hand. I will lean on You the best I know how, and confess with my mouth though at times I don't feel it, You are my good Shepherd and You have never been wrong. You have always been right, so I commit my way to you again tonight.
SQ
I really do ache for long hours in worship, even if it is hard. I miss singing and hearing live worship. I miss my friends and my roomie with her little cats and dog. I miss good old Grandview, Missouri in all of it's ... well, the reason I love Grandview is because it's where I met Jesus and knew His love in the most real sense of the word in my whole life.
Never have I known such love than in the community of 24/7 worship and prayer. I still ask the Lord to teach me how to pray, how to worship, and I still struggle to stay awake sometimes in the prayer room. I have a hard time sitting still or being focused on the Lord, even in that beautiful, simple room at IHOP KC. ...
There really is no place I'd rather be. Sigh... God, I don't know how to get back there, how to find my way as a missionary. With all my heart I want to serve as a missionary to the ends of the earth, or in the Night Watch pacing and singing to You. But how do I get there? How do I live this life? What more do I need to do in order to be sustained?
Am I succeeding or am I falling short? Help Lord, for I am really weak at this. I'm in need of Your hand. I will lean on You the best I know how, and confess with my mouth though at times I don't feel it, You are my good Shepherd and You have never been wrong. You have always been right, so I commit my way to you again tonight.
SQ
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