New Beginnings

There isn't anything sweeter than a solo devo, full sounding acoustic guitar and a worshipper singing their heart out to the Lord.

The Lord inhabits the praises of His people. I love the place where he dwells. For all of my days, I want to give myself to this place of knowing, beholding and blessing God.

There is no greater thing. Somewhere after sunset and before it's rising, I come into this house to sing praises to the Father, Spirit and Son. Under the moon light, and the stars that shine, sometimes I forget why I'm here.

I remember, it's He who brought me, and I know it's only because I've been touched deeply by His love that I keep running into His presence, again and again. Like a flower, I have truly been unfolding beneath the gentle love, and rich grace of His heart. I've been showered by mercy, kindness and extravagant love.

I am poor and needy, dry and thirsty, weary in a weary land. Truly, my God has lavished upon me, and now in beauty I stand. Winds and waves roll all around me. Mountains tower, and the road is shadowed; I lean into my Beloved, hand in hand we walk on.

Testings, trials, surprises and joy; I put my hope and trust in the one I'm leaning on. My heart longs aches. My heart sings, sighs, wanting to fly. Life is meant to be shared, harmony requires melody. We were all made for love. To love and to be loved.

I am seen by God, like a blossoming tree amongst a forest of green. I am noticed, I have caught His eye. I can have confidence in this. That I am seen, known and desired. When I waver, I recall to my mind that beautiful tree with white petals, sweet fragrance in the midst of a wood of green. I do stand out to the Father of Glory. Why would I fear being overlooked by men of the earth? God sees and that is more than enough.

Leaving will be hard, recieving isn't easy. Being weak forces me to face hidden pride. Letting go of people and things I love; Trusting the One above. I have seen real beauty in hearts and faces during these Moonlit watches. Blessed be the name of the Lord, He gives and takes away, blessed be His name. He sought me, brought me here and now I will return. I'm not the same broken flower that I was 4 years ago. My time isn't up, I know, but what's ahead, I'm not too sure.

A bit of sadness rests just beneathe the surface of my little heart. A fragile smile dares to show, I do have a great Hope, and future. Confessions to fear of failure, with bended knee I bow before my Maker.

Here's my heart, dreams, desires, people I love, I lay them all at Your feet. My little heart is fragile, yet strong. I will press on. I will do this. Doubts fly at me: "I don't know if I can do this", "what if I can't?", "will anyone say yes?", "who do I ask?".... I am a missionary. There is no turning back. Ruined for anything less. Destined to this narrow road, I will go. I will go. Here I am, Lord, have Your gold in me. Have all of Your heart's desire in me. Whatever it takes, I yield to You and sincerely pray. "Father, embrace me".

~Queen